Anesthesia
by defenestratingEnemies
Summary: Kurt has to get some teeth pulled and must get sedated. Consequently, he goes a little wacko. Implied Kurt/Sebastian relationship.


"I don't wanna go!"

Sebastian looked over at the chair next to him where Kurt was sitting and grinned. "Come on, Kurt. Is a big boy like you really afraid of the dentist?"

"It's not the dentist I'm scared of! It's just that I'm a little uncomfortable with some strange man drugging me then yanking out half my teeth!" Kurt shuddered.

Sebastian put an arm around the smaller boy. "He's not going to yank out all your teeth. Just your wisdom teeth. And there are only four of them."

"Why do they have to come out? They're happy in my mouth."

"Kurt, you can barely chew your food properly. They have to go."

Kurt gave a groan of defeat and rested his head on Sebastian's shoulder.

"Seb, what if he decides he likes pulling teeth so much that he pulls ALL of them out and I have to eat soup for the rest of my life?"

"Look, if it'll make you feel better, I'll sit in the room with you while the dentist takes those teeth out. You know, make sure he doesn't pull any funny business." Sebastian gently rubbed Kurt's shoulder. Kurt nodded and smiled, clearly relieved.

"Hummel, Kurt?" A young woman with a clipboard had entered the waiting room and was peering around. Kurt gulped. Sebastian stood up then gently took Kurt's hand and pulled him up. Kurt resisted; Sebastian pulled harder. The woman raised her eyebrows.

"Kurt. Come on." With a final tug, Sebastian pulled Kurt into a standing position and followed the nurse, nearly dragging Kurt along behind him.

* * *

"Aaaand he's done!"

The doctor looked up and turned to Sebastian.

"Already? You finished with him a lot quicker than I thought you would." Sebastian stood and pulled a chair over next to where Kurt was lying.

"I had to give him a little more anesthesia than usual. He seemed a bit nervous, so the larger dose allowed me to finish a bit faster."

"Uh, are you sure that's safe?" Sebastian frowned.

"Welllllll usually."

"What do you mean, "usually"?"

"I have another patient to attend to, so if you'll excuse me-" The dentist made a hasty retreat, leaving Sebastian alone with an extremely drugged, giggling Kurt.

"Kurt?" Sebastian sat down in the chair next to Kurt and lightly tapped his shoulder. The other boy's eyes slid open and slowly focused on Sebastian.

"How're you feeling?" Sebastian asked cautiously. Kurt continued to stare at Sebastian, never breaking eye contact.

"Like a sausage," the brunette replied seriously. Then, he suddenly burst into a fit of giggles. Sebastian pursed his lips, seriously concerned about the brain damage the anesthesia might have caused Kurt.

"Yooou look like a fishey," Kurt slurred. "Fishey fishey blup blup blup." He began to laugh again, then raised a finger to poke Sebastian's lips. Sebastian furrowed his eyebrows.

"Kurt, are you feeling alright?"

"When Kurtie was in Egypt's land, let my Kurtie gooooooo," Kurt sang.

"I think we should take you home now."

"NooooooOOOOOO!" Kurt began to shriek, then suddenly his face calmed and he slipped back into his dazed trance.

"Yeah. Let's go home."

* * *

It took over half an hour for Sebastian to coax Kurt out of the dentist's office ("I wanna prize! I wanna prize! I wanna fishey eraser so I can name it Sebastian!"), into his car, and back into his own house. Once they arrived, Sebastian led Kurt into his bedroom and sat him down on the bed. "You should probably get some rest, Kurt," Sebastian said, putting his hands on Kurt's shoulders to keep him down.

"But I'm not sleepyyyyyyyy," Kurt replied, bouncing up and down."

"Just - just lie down!"

"Sebastian!"

"What is it, Kurt"

"I have...a joke!"

"Okay, what's the joke?"

Kurt giggle deviously.

"Guess what?"

"What, Kurt?"

"CHICKEN BUTT!" Kurt screamed into Sebastian's ear before leaping up and starting to jump on the bed. Sebastian stumbled backwards, clutching his ear.

"Sebastian!"

"WHAT, KURT?"

"I have another joke!"

"Kurt, I'm not really in the mood for another joke!" Sebastian growled through gritted teeth.

Th effect was instantaneous. Kurt immediately stopped jumping and fell down on the bed, his face falling and his eyes starting to shimmer with tears. "You...don;t wanna hear my joke?"

At once, Sebastian felt guilty. "No, no, I would love to hear your joke!"

"Okay! Come 'ere!"

Sebastian sighed in exasperation and leaned forward, but Kurt grabbed the collar of his shirt and yanked him towards him.

"What's the joke, Kurt?" The smaller boy giggled, then put his lips right next to Sebastian's ear.

"Hi!" Kurt whispered, then fell back onto the he'd squealing and rolling about with laughter. Sebastian stared at this display for a few seconds, then mumbled "I need as aspirin" before starting off towards the bathroom.

It took Sebastian a good few minutes to locate the necessary pills and a clean glass. After downing the medicine, he took a moment to admire his devastatingly handsome reflection. He took a moment too long, however, because just then Sebastian heard Kurt from the other room yell with excitement, "Ewwwwww yucky!"

Oh crap, Sebastian thought, and he rushed back into his bedroom to find Kurt sitting cross-legged on the floor, his hands covered in - oh god, was that lube?

"Look Sebastian! It's sticky!" Kurt burst into peals of laughter, digging his hands into the small pot in front of him and smearing his hands all over his face.

"No, Kurt, do NOT play with that!" Sebastian rushed forward and grabbed the jar from Kurt and shoved it a random drawer.

"Sebastian, what's wrong with this banana?"

Sebastian whipped around to find Kurt gnawing on one of his rubber dildos.

"Auuugh, where the hell did you even find that, Kurt?" Sebastian trapped the offending object from Kurt's hand and threw it under his bed.

"Sebby, this bracelet is too small!"

Sebastian turned to see Kurt fiddling desperately with a cock ring.

The older boy tilted his head back and groaned. This was going to be a looong afternoon.

**Anyone get the Ferris Bueller reference?**

**Okay, hoped you liked the story!**


End file.
